The Edge

Since the warm weather began, I have spun myself in circles NoT being at home. From traveling to the States to picnics at the lakes to bike riding to outdoor festivities to teaching to training to practicing… did I miss out on anything…?

Just get moving and go …
It’s best for your heart and spirit 🙂

While all these have been fun and have simply filled up my being, my body now shows signs of exhaustion. It is not anymore begging for time off; it is friggin screaming. My hips are a mess and almost every part of my body is now being bred by alien knots with gnarling limbs inhabiting my muscles causing serious pulling and tightness. How I manage to keep going?? I pop. Pop my neck. Pop my shoulders. Pop my back. And the one that cringes a lot of folks… pop my knees.

One day I had to rush to the city for hot yin – it sounds ironic – waking up late (because I’m tired) and ended up missing the class. I was at a friggin standstill and the hamster started spinning out of control and in panic not knowing what I can do until the next class. Two hours! I could have done a lot of things in two hours!

Could have… should have… would have…
I felt so lost.

All the trainings you attend and whatever, do little good if you don’t take them to heart… allow the slow passage of time to fill your every being…

Got myself to lay on the couches at the studio, read something, walked some around the Exchange District then headed to the next class. I didn’t feel the two hours.

After a long hibernation, I indulged in a massage. I have been seeing a masseur for the last two years but after reading something that can possibly help my hips, I stopped seeing him. I thought I can simply aid myself to healing.

Okay… you can laugh…

There was a sweet release from those annoying aliens after my massage (a different masseur this time) and when I got home, took his advice and soaked in a bath. Bath salts and almond oil is heavenly luxurious. I told my good friend I understand now why the tubs are not as long as adult-length, though I’m short. I can easily pass out and drown if my legs and head would slide down.

One time at work, I was helping out someone clearing the way to a room while he hauls in a heavy spider tank. Thinking that I have shoved aside whatever was blocking, he started pulling the tank. But I was still spinning about and unfortunately, the leg of the tank hit my ankle.
‘Aw’! I yelped.
His face all apologetic, replied to me – ‘I’m sorry, Maia. I just don’t know when you will stop moving’.
I laughed.

I got the message.

To pause is definitely a dire need.

Self-care is not administered by popping. Popping is a sign of going over the edge – which is really not bad when you know how to land softly. Self-care is being grounded while standing at your edge… and feeling how far you can go…

I love jumping over the edge though.

To balance at that edge before flight… is true yoga.

Namaste. =)

5 thoughts on “The Edge

  1. Funny you should mention popping. My meniscus is gone in the right knee and 50% removed from the left knee. I have to pop before each yoga class or my knees will lock-up in certain poses. It’s all good 😉

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  2. I love jumping over the edge too. And I’m also a big mover. Since I’ve been more consistent with my sitting practice, I am definitely feeling more grounded overall. It’s funny though because my most focused meditations usually occur after some major movement… xoxo

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