Q: Why do we only get spontaneous when bad things happen to us?
A: Nature abhors a vacuum.
Life is a series of ebb and flow. I often get told of this. When it ebbs though, why do we get stuck getting pulled back?
It takes an enormous amount of courage and strength to swim forth and begin flowing again. The current can deter your heart and doubt your swimming skills. Sometimes we tend to simply float… where does this lead us then? Does it make you closer to where you want to go?
Yet the time spent in floating can be the moment when courage and strength take a spin. It can be the time to realize that perhaps, a different swimming stroke is what is needed to regain the way of moving forth.
My life has been a series of changes lately. Most times, I get so caught up and can barely float. Taking in water as you sink is damn scary, painful, and most of all, there is the tendency to lose your light as the glowing orb above the water becomes smaller and smaller.
And what I realized during these moments of dimness is to shift my focus – focus on what I want and the natural flow of the sea will allow me to spontaneously find my natural buoyancy.
I did just that the past days. And things begin to fall into place… not in my egoistic ideal sense… but it felt good. It felt right. Slowly forming. No hurry.
Yesterday, I renewed my passport to my new name. A piece of the puzzle evolving into my transformation.
The agent asked me – “Do you want to keep the old passport as souvenir?”
I was almost surprised and wasn’t certain what to answer. But I said – Yes. And my heart felt strange as soon as I blurted it out… and I pondered while the agent pounded on her keyboard. A minute or two passed and I told her – “I take it back. I don’t want to keep my old one. It’s why I changed my name”.
It was a current I felt at that very moment when I was asked. The same current pulling me back, ebbing with the tide.
It doesn’t make sense to hold on to the past. I took the scary initiative, derived from an insane courage, and muscled some strength to change… NoW isn’t the time to cower and sink down.
How we react to each moment is what will form on the next phase.
Choose to react spontaneously. Create sparkles in your own pages. Draw highlights in your own chapters. Each day consists of new beginnings.
Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you or makes you happy. ~ Robert Tew