There are some people I often hear who laments, “I want to know what’s taking my soulmate so long to get here”. I pondered on these words for some time… the core of this sentence. It is a question that sits in the corner of your mind, make you go crazy, and wonder what the heck you are doing wrong. And the more you let it stay in that corner, without picking it up and facing the question, the more you get consumed with the idea that you keep waiting for that answer to just bounce and spring on you.
The truth is, you don’t wait for your soulmate. You, I, We… make it happen.
“A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we’re safe in our own paradise. Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we’re two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we’ve found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.”
~ Leslie Parish
The Bridge Across Forever
It all starts within us. Before anyone else can come into our lives, we have to be willing being open and vulnerable to what is in store for us. Countless times we dream of finding that someone who would hold the key. But it is also in knowing that you are willing to let that person in and see and accept who you truly are – that truth you so blindly disregard. Otherwise, anyone could be holding the key without you realizing that the lock you have stays locked forever.
Gone are the notions of a fairytale romance that he/she is the soulmate. Drop the search of finding the “one”. Let go of that preconceived idea of how and what and who our soulmate should be. The key our soulmate holds is the key you hold to who your true soul is.
If you learn to come to terms of your true self, and learn to accept and love what you see in you, then you found your soulmate. You, I, We are our own soulmates. This is a little difficult to digest; but what it only means is, to quote,
“Your soulmate is simply an expression of your Self. As you connect more with your soul, that perfect mate will come to you as a mirror manifestation of who and what you are”. ~ Kute Blackson
I recently came across a conversation and heard someone say, “I wish I could find someone who could write a poem or song for me”. We don’t just wish. We do. I asked the questions… Do you read poetry? Do you write songs? Do you even sing? Do you hang out at gigs where poetry is recited? Or in bars where local performers try out new music? You need to be one for someone else in that sense to come into your life. You can’t just sit back in a coffee shop and dream that your soulmate would walk up to you and recite you a poem or strum a guitar. We make it happen by being true to ourselves that we actually love poetry, that we love to create music. If we are only wishing for this kind of person to do this for us, I ask you now, what then after all the poetry has been recited? What then after all the music has been sung?
It does not mean that you have to be exactly the same, that you do things together all the time. It only means that you are able to accept this as part of yourself and also part of him/her that you both can share. You can watch a hockey game together even when you don’t play or even skate. You can show the marvels of eating healthy even when the other has an eating disorder. There has to be both mutual interests and acceptable differences. And whether mutual or not, you both encourage each other and heighten each of your individual potentials.
Perhaps you begin as kindred souls. Best friends. Confidant(e). Buddies. Alter ego. Whatever. You feel that strong connection, somehow sharing an unexplainable bond, a symmetry that rocks your world tethering your balance… yet harnessing it to keep the balance… drawing both of yourselves to something higher, a higher level of understanding and consciousness… and awareness.
The more you love yourself, the more your soulmate loves you. This work both ways, both of you growing together, tapping those wakening possibilities, letting you break free from your bondage… even when it damn hurts . Love in this sense is not only falling in love. It is love in itself. No conditions. No barriers. No illusions. It is more profound than mere writing a poem for you. It is more intense than singing you a love song. It is more animated than teaching you how to skate. It is more sincere than sharing food together.
It is the cluster of knots you feel within, slowly untying themselves; peeling the layers you have piled over the years, seeking your core. It is an act when it takes your heart and soul into a place of acceptance… and encouraging your light within to shine.
We need to take time and see ourselves for who we truly are.
Look in the mirror.
What do you see?
That reflection alone is our soulmate.
Learn to love that reflection.
And only then can another reflection share that mirror with us, magnifying both your light.