Denial is akin to a wound with bandaid. Sometimes the strip gets pulled off unexpectedly. It bleeds again. Bandaids only shield; doesn’t really heal the wound. When we don’t pay attention to it, moisture creeps in and what-have-yous. And before long, you have this nasty infection, or the wound has gotten deeper, wider.
They do protect the wound against bacteria and other contaminants. especially at its onset. What we fail to realize is that even wounds need to breathe. We need not cover it all the time, especially when it is in the process of healing. Some continue to cover the wound for cosmetic reasons. They did say, vanity kills.
Emotional wounds are no different than the physiological ones. We also cover them up with band aids. Build a wall of defense. Surround yourself with an impenetrable moat. Wear a tight clown mask. Hibernate in the deepest rabbit hole. Pushing to the limits in physical activities. Work overtime on top of overtime.
And there is such band aids when we find someone we can relate to. Someone who shares the same sense of hurt. Someone who understands the intensity of pain. Someone who soothes your scars and cracks and gashes. And you bond over your wounds. Both feeling the loneliness and offer each other the comfort from those wounds. Emotional band aids where the roots of the relationship are the pains and hurts you both share.
One day, one of you realizes the emotional junk sitting on your lap. They remain as they are, as the very first time it wounded you. You realize that no amount of band aids can heal both your wounds while both of you bond over its pain. There is no growth.
Most people stay wounded becoming accustomed and acclimated with having them. It becomes their comfort zone. It becomes who they are. Unable to clearly see that staying enclosed and huddled within oneself or another only exaggerates the wound even deeper. We do not see because we cover up the wound. We do not see because we deny ourselves to heal for fear that it will hurt us more. Perhaps this is so. Perhaps we gain more wounds in the process. And we are too afraid to go through it all again. Stuck but safe. Denying the process of healing. Denying the growth.
When you keep banging your knee on the corner of a coffee table time and time again, ask yourself why this is so? The table hasn’t budged to where it has been all along. Yet, your knee seems to be attracted to it.
When you experience the same or similar pain splitting your heart apart, ask yourself why this is so? The situation hasn’t changed to where it has began. Yet you remain stuck with your heart torn apart.
The only time you will see beyond the hurt is when you allow and permit yourself to see. So peel off that band aid. It may cause you that stinging from peeling it… oh yes! Find comfort in the discomfort. You are letting your wounds breathe and heal.
“Wisdom is nothing more than healed pain.” ~ Lee, Robert E.