Love-Hate

I’ve been struggling. For some time. There are days, moments, that I can handle it. But there are times I simply break down. Quietly. Deep inside. A tear drops down unnoticeably. And I blink and wipe it away. And breathe. At some point, I begin to heave. That part about letting go… there really is no manual for such a thing. You are on your own. I’m on my own. How to deal with it is certainly up to each of us.

I posted an image here about letting go. But there is an art to this. We often misconstrue letting go as ignoring. I’m guilty of that. So it comes back haunting. And you’re more screwed than you were once before.

There’s a love-hate relationship with this song.
I love this cover version by The Piano Guys, with an accompaniment of a cellist.
I love that I use this in my playlist. Savasana.
It’s a very relaxing melody.
Until it whacks you like a ton of bricks with what the lyrics say.
I hate how its words bear truth.
And I hate that the song was used in Twilight.

No intent to squabble over Twilight. I even own the books.

I play it on repeat. Sort of like purging myself from it. From the pain in the song.
Perhaps one day, I can learn the art.
Perhaps one day I need not wipe the tear.
Perhaps one day I can finally accept it.

Until then…
Come listen with me.
Namaste.

A Thousand Years, Christina Perri / The Piano Guys

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